Dear Natalie

You are going through kind of a tough time right now.  You are so smart, and strive to work hard in school and get good grades.  That, I hope, remains a constant.  But, you are also going through some tough stuff socially with people you once called "friends" or establishing your own boundaries for what you will accept and what you will dismiss from others in this sometimes cruel world.

I foolishily thought that you could prolong your enchanting, spirited innocence at a parochial school.  I was blindsided by some of the early days there.  Mean girls, pigeon holing teachers, the rawness of the world arrived front and center for you. 

Last night, we took a walk and you told me how you feel.  How school is.  How you don't like recess and wish you could just stay in the library and read.  I want to swoop in and fix but I can't.  I can listen, I can tell you that I felt the same way as a kid sometimes.  I can tell you that if we didn't live in a medium sized city that your public school declares a large urban school district with associated problems, I would send you to public school after all you've been through.  I and you can also have hope that these experiences will make you stronger, and more capabable and more happy in life because you know that you are loved by your family yet also know that sometimes people aren't kind or aren't fair and that its very important for you to beat to your own drummer and filter useless background noise when you need to.

I want you to be accepted and to feel confident.  You have the foundation to do that and the full support of people who love you.  I am sure you will succeed and these little trials will be but a blip on this fleeting period of your radar to a amazing life.   Believe in yourself.

Love,
Mama

In your own words

You always talked, are always animated & social.  You are a voracious reader and above average at Math too.  You are so smart.

I don't know if it's the school, the parocial school, and all that comes with that.  Or the early competitive behavior of your class.  I don't know if it's merely just a "speech language issue." 

For the past year, you have worked with a SLP on articulation (outside the school district, of course, because despite a second grade diagnosis of "tongue thrust", no services could be provided in the schools.)  The constant observing and judging of your articulation may have created the stalling and stuttering and lack of confidence in your speaking.   I think you have conquered the articulation but the confidence in speaking is not there. I don't know if your teacher is making you her project because friends and family do not notice the speech issues. We meet with her on Monday.

All I know is that I love you and will take any road required to ensure a life of confidence and happiness.  You are not definable, you are too multi-faceted.  On the bubble with speech services, looking for meaningful friendshps with nice kids, just wanting to be YOU; we will get there kiddo.  I am your biggest advocate and fan and I will make sure of it.

April Fool

Yesterday, when we were rushing about to get out the door for Molly's first birthday party in Elm Grove, Natalie whipped up a little breakfast.  She made toast, spread with peanut butter and sprinkled with garlic salt, pepper and salt.  She brought it up for us to taste and was a little bummed when we didn't start gagging and hacking, I guess.

It had an after effect though.  My mouth started to pop about a half hour later.  Funny girl.