Kellie Hampton is my hero! I love her writing, her passion, her love for her "two ones" but mostly, I love the massive amounts of good for which she uses her Internet microphone. Case in point:
Input, Output: Hallmark
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Reinvention of self
I've never been overly ambitious but being a working mom definitely kicked me into gear. I am not at peace with beng a working mom, though. I am not at peace with giving up control. I am not at peace with child care outside of my own.
I grew up with a SAHM who had to scramble to raise 5 kids, on her own pretty much. My dad came home and did the old school discipline, drop in on our lives stuff. He tried, but he was a product of his upbringing. I didn't want to be alone at home with no $$ or no way to stand on my own. I think I tended toward the working mom profile, but didn't want to admit it. Plus, we needed my income anyway. Plus, I get to deal with adults who transparently play political games and mean girl behavior that is far more annoying than the most epic of toddler tantrums...it's kind of a sacrifice for income, sometimes.
Therein lies the angst. I need to better define who I am, so I can model this for my kids. I was bemused earlier this year when Charlotte made a gingerbread man holding a sign that said, "I can go to work just like my mommy." I am a worker, yes, but fought with my boss to get his approval to leave my job early to pick them up from school on M, W, F. Prior to that, I worked 9-10 hour M-Rs and had off Friday with my babies. I took a pay cut to do it and it also makes up for the four times a year I need to travel for a few days. I just want those little spouts to know their mama also needed to put food in their bellies, shoes on their feet, and as an aside, private school tuition into the family budget due to the terrible state of Madison schools these days. God willing, those college savings accounts will also be well-used.
I was annoying about it. I still am, complaining about work, complaining about stress, about not being present while feeling this angst...a vicious cycle.
I am good at my job. Very good. I need to work on myself and redefine this working mom role on the mom side. I need to find a comfortable place, finally. I am better than I was but I need to grow more.
I grew up with a SAHM who had to scramble to raise 5 kids, on her own pretty much. My dad came home and did the old school discipline, drop in on our lives stuff. He tried, but he was a product of his upbringing. I didn't want to be alone at home with no $$ or no way to stand on my own. I think I tended toward the working mom profile, but didn't want to admit it. Plus, we needed my income anyway. Plus, I get to deal with adults who transparently play political games and mean girl behavior that is far more annoying than the most epic of toddler tantrums...it's kind of a sacrifice for income, sometimes.
Therein lies the angst. I need to better define who I am, so I can model this for my kids. I was bemused earlier this year when Charlotte made a gingerbread man holding a sign that said, "I can go to work just like my mommy." I am a worker, yes, but fought with my boss to get his approval to leave my job early to pick them up from school on M, W, F. Prior to that, I worked 9-10 hour M-Rs and had off Friday with my babies. I took a pay cut to do it and it also makes up for the four times a year I need to travel for a few days. I just want those little spouts to know their mama also needed to put food in their bellies, shoes on their feet, and as an aside, private school tuition into the family budget due to the terrible state of Madison schools these days. God willing, those college savings accounts will also be well-used.
I was annoying about it. I still am, complaining about work, complaining about stress, about not being present while feeling this angst...a vicious cycle.
I am good at my job. Very good. I need to work on myself and redefine this working mom role on the mom side. I need to find a comfortable place, finally. I am better than I was but I need to grow more.
What's in a name
I get a lot of compliments on their names. Yesterday, when I was volunteering at lunch duty, Kristin Sleeth told me she always remembers Natalie is my daughter, because she loves her name but couldn't use with her own last name for her kid. She asked what my Kindergartener's name is, Charlotte, and responds, oh that is a beautiful name too.
If I have any regrets about your names, it is not including mine somehow. Natalie called Charlotte, "Baby Coco" mostly in utero but also called her Baby Hannah. Lance suggested Hannah Marie on the morning of the day Charlotte was born. My OB liked Anna, said Hannah is overused. I liked Charlotte all along. Strong, solid, classic, like Natalie. And Elizabeth, such a classic beauty of a name. I won't ever be insulted if they choose to go by their middle names.
We were thinking Grace for Natalie. My second cousin had a baby Grace in August of the same year. He happens to be named John which was a duplicate family name for my uncle, his cousin John so choosing Grace would not be an unprecidented move. Plus, they live in Oregon and I have seen them maybe once or twice in the last ten years. But, we wanted an original. When she was born, we thougth Kirstin and actually called her that for several hours. I called people and told them we weren't totally decided on the name but she is here, 3 weeks early and we are in love. By mid moring on 9-10-02, we had decided on Natalie Grace. One of the night nurses came in and told me Natalie Grace is so beautiful, it gave her shivers. Uncle Todd said she was probably bopping from room to room saying that to everyone, Jane Smith...so beautiful it gives me shivers!
Natalie Grace and Charlotte Elizabeth, my beautiful little souls.
If I have any regrets about your names, it is not including mine somehow. Natalie called Charlotte, "Baby Coco" mostly in utero but also called her Baby Hannah. Lance suggested Hannah Marie on the morning of the day Charlotte was born. My OB liked Anna, said Hannah is overused. I liked Charlotte all along. Strong, solid, classic, like Natalie. And Elizabeth, such a classic beauty of a name. I won't ever be insulted if they choose to go by their middle names.
We were thinking Grace for Natalie. My second cousin had a baby Grace in August of the same year. He happens to be named John which was a duplicate family name for my uncle, his cousin John so choosing Grace would not be an unprecidented move. Plus, they live in Oregon and I have seen them maybe once or twice in the last ten years. But, we wanted an original. When she was born, we thougth Kirstin and actually called her that for several hours. I called people and told them we weren't totally decided on the name but she is here, 3 weeks early and we are in love. By mid moring on 9-10-02, we had decided on Natalie Grace. One of the night nurses came in and told me Natalie Grace is so beautiful, it gave her shivers. Uncle Todd said she was probably bopping from room to room saying that to everyone, Jane Smith...so beautiful it gives me shivers!
Natalie Grace and Charlotte Elizabeth, my beautiful little souls.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Flu in the House of Two Ones
Natalie came home last Friday with a soar throat and 102 temp. Charlotte came down with it yesterday (Tuesday) and is on the couch. Natalie is back to herself but poor Charly has the sad, sick eyes even while she tries to crack a smile.
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