I know I would fail as a SAHM.
When spring comes around, travel season starts for me. Relatively speaking, it is very manageable and I definitely don't mind the places I get to go. It's the details and the work politics and the school politics and this growing need to control when there is absolutely no controlling that weighs me down.
I just want to punch a few people in the head too.
I am not at my best right now.
Friday, May 1, 2015
Disheartening
Somehow, both Natalie and Charlotte were blessed with athletic genes. It goes beyond egregious, how the adults involved can manipulate and toxify the experiences for the kids involved.
I am so angry right now. Catholic schools pretty much suck. At least they have good grades.
I am so angry right now. Catholic schools pretty much suck. At least they have good grades.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Spring Break
We did the drive again. I'd say one last hurrah. Buuuut, it is nice to save all that money on airfare. Two trips to FL and one to coastal GA might be enough for this clan. SD was a little better. The kids were great and patient beyond their years. Long, hot when you're south, car rides suck. Poor Charlotte got out a rest stop in GA on our way back with a soaking wet T shirt because the A/C hadn't made it's way back to her, was not turned on right. She cheerfully said her body is just efficient at letting go of heat. She bursts my heart right open.
Anyway, the ride down is far more cheery than the ride back. Daddy-O and I got in a stress argument at the KY-IL boarder. I still feel the guilt.
Universal Studios was nice, in a packed spring break sort of way. We rode the train to Hogwarts three times. Natalie was in heaven with the Harry Potter area and both she and Charlotte loved their magic wands. They were "selected" in a presentation by a wizard to be his "students" and trained to use their wands properly. ie: never put it in your back pocket. When they walked out of the room, there was a cash register we had to visit. Nothing is free, especially at the large theme parks! The wands really were "magic" and the girls loved walking around Diagon Alley and Hogwarts making the magic happen. Also, butter beer=good stuff.
Cocoa Beach was nice. We got a late start that day and got there at 5 or so. Haha. But, we found parking and it was not crowded and still hot and sunny. Charlotte was her little fish self jumping in and out of the waves. The laughter I heard from Natalie as she brushed up against the waves coming in reminded me of when she was really little. Pure joy. Daddy-O loved it too. He was really nice about asking what we did when I wen to FL as a kid, like he wanted to continue that tradition through the two trips we took.
Charlotte insisted on getting the academy award that said "best teacher" for Mrs. Barker. Mrs. Barker is the most amazing teacher I have ever had the privilege to know. She is a phenomenal human being so I guess that is the cornerstone. Charlotte wanted to pay for the token herself too. Love, lots of love.
While on break, our beloved Badgers advanced to the elite 8. We watched that game from the NBA Restaurant at Universal. I am so proud to be a Badger. Our fans are second to none. We got home in time on Saturday night to watch the win over KY. What an amazing team...it still gives me chills to think of what a great squad they had and how adored they were by the rest of the country. We will miss you, Frank the Tank.
It really was a good trip...likely our last at the theme park capital of the world!
XO
Anyway, the ride down is far more cheery than the ride back. Daddy-O and I got in a stress argument at the KY-IL boarder. I still feel the guilt.
Universal Studios was nice, in a packed spring break sort of way. We rode the train to Hogwarts three times. Natalie was in heaven with the Harry Potter area and both she and Charlotte loved their magic wands. They were "selected" in a presentation by a wizard to be his "students" and trained to use their wands properly. ie: never put it in your back pocket. When they walked out of the room, there was a cash register we had to visit. Nothing is free, especially at the large theme parks! The wands really were "magic" and the girls loved walking around Diagon Alley and Hogwarts making the magic happen. Also, butter beer=good stuff.
Cocoa Beach was nice. We got a late start that day and got there at 5 or so. Haha. But, we found parking and it was not crowded and still hot and sunny. Charlotte was her little fish self jumping in and out of the waves. The laughter I heard from Natalie as she brushed up against the waves coming in reminded me of when she was really little. Pure joy. Daddy-O loved it too. He was really nice about asking what we did when I wen to FL as a kid, like he wanted to continue that tradition through the two trips we took.
Charlotte insisted on getting the academy award that said "best teacher" for Mrs. Barker. Mrs. Barker is the most amazing teacher I have ever had the privilege to know. She is a phenomenal human being so I guess that is the cornerstone. Charlotte wanted to pay for the token herself too. Love, lots of love.
While on break, our beloved Badgers advanced to the elite 8. We watched that game from the NBA Restaurant at Universal. I am so proud to be a Badger. Our fans are second to none. We got home in time on Saturday night to watch the win over KY. What an amazing team...it still gives me chills to think of what a great squad they had and how adored they were by the rest of the country. We will miss you, Frank the Tank.
It really was a good trip...likely our last at the theme park capital of the world!
XO
Thursday, January 22, 2015
up on stage
This morning, Natalie did a reading at Mass. She got right up there and spoke right into the microphone with inflection and clarity and grace. I was so proud of her. Charlotte read a petition a few weeks back and was brilliant as well. I am so proud of them.
Natalie is working very hard with the rigors of club volleyball and being positive though it all. Charlotte is starting down the basketball path with Upward and runs and dribbles and puts forth such a good effort. They both work so hard. They are so good.
Unfortunately, these amazing kids...their parents got off track. Or have been off track since the start, perhaps. When love comes into your life, sometimes you are blinded by it. Their daddy and I, are like oil & water. On the rare occasion that he comes with us to an event, he will usually pull some low belt move like tell me "work out more to get a body like (friend I just introduced him to...one of our kid's classmates moms)" Right in the middle of dinner out, where I am trying to be on for the team, the school team of politics that all moms have to engage in. Below the belt. That has been the MO. It hurts. It hurts the kids, that atmosphere. It has messed with my mind. For years, complaints about everything I had a part in and everything that was out of my control. Loud complaints, abuse, awful insults and sadness, emptiness and alone-ness.
It was hard. Single mom is hard too. I need strength and hope and I don't know where to go to find it. But, mostly, I don't ever want these kind, amazing souls to lose their hope. I am struggling.
Natalie is working very hard with the rigors of club volleyball and being positive though it all. Charlotte is starting down the basketball path with Upward and runs and dribbles and puts forth such a good effort. They both work so hard. They are so good.
Unfortunately, these amazing kids...their parents got off track. Or have been off track since the start, perhaps. When love comes into your life, sometimes you are blinded by it. Their daddy and I, are like oil & water. On the rare occasion that he comes with us to an event, he will usually pull some low belt move like tell me "work out more to get a body like (friend I just introduced him to...one of our kid's classmates moms)" Right in the middle of dinner out, where I am trying to be on for the team, the school team of politics that all moms have to engage in. Below the belt. That has been the MO. It hurts. It hurts the kids, that atmosphere. It has messed with my mind. For years, complaints about everything I had a part in and everything that was out of my control. Loud complaints, abuse, awful insults and sadness, emptiness and alone-ness.
It was hard. Single mom is hard too. I need strength and hope and I don't know where to go to find it. But, mostly, I don't ever want these kind, amazing souls to lose their hope. I am struggling.
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