We had teacher conferences last night. Our first one was with Charlotte's teacher, Mrs. B. I had a couple email conversations with her and also a couple in-person ones when I chaperoned the field trip and when I showed up for the 3rd Grade Halloween party. I knew how fond she was of Charlotte so I thought things would go pretty well. Mrs. B is an exceptional teacher. During Iowa tests, she would tell the kids "I just love you so much and don't want you to feel any stress." Or, "these tests are only a report card for your school. it does not matter how you do." I mean, someone who finally gets how useless standardized tests are?! Oh, how I longed for this day. Mrs. B is just amazing. And what is incredible to me is that she thinks my kid is amazing. She said "Charlotte makes me stop and remember what is important...to be kind, to work hard, to be happy." She said Charlotte always puts in the best effort and said she had basically nothing to critique her on. We discussed her reading...since Charlotte did have some tutoring in first grade and last summer. She's right on track. Her writing? It is evolving as it should. Charlotte also loves math and makes no secret about it to us or to Mrs. B. Mrs. B actually said she "feels blessed" to have Charlotte in her class. Yes, my eyes welled up during out 15 minute time slot, several times.
Then, it was onto middle school. All the teachers were sitting at tables in the gym for optional check ins. We walked in and were greeted by the school principal. I am not a fan of hers. I have gotten conflicting information from her. To be fair, she seems to try her best but she comes off as phony and a coverer of the ass which maybe is the MO for all principals, but I think we can do better. Especially at $350/month per kid. We got our religious ed envelope and Lance was friendly with her and we walked on to the center waiting chars surrounded by a perimeter of teachers. First, we went to see Mrs. F. She is a very strict math teacher whose reputation precedes her. Natalie is afraid of her. I've heard that kids that come out of SMG are typically very prepared for freshman year, especially in math. I say, keep doing what you are doing. She told us that Natalie does very good work and is quiet (?!-translation: afraid of her) and then she refreshed herself on the grade she gave her (an A-) and confirmed that she's doing very well. I chatted with the Spanish teacher a bit...doing well, received A. We then stopped over by her homeroom/creative writing/lit teacher who told us that Natalie is "an awesome kid, an awesome student." She is enthusiastic and works hard and takes a small idea and turns it into a creative story and is his go-to for information on anything related to Greek Mythology and always has a smile on her face. I thanked him for helping guide her in one of life's most valuable skills (which I haven't mastered), writing. He agreed it was a very valuable skill. Our last stop was at the table of history teacher, Mr. R. Mr. R once told Charlotte on teacher swap day that he knew some people from FDL with our (odd, from the old country) last name. C was thrilled since she has had the burden of a phonetically incorrect LONG last name, along with a nine letter first name. So, Mr. R told us that when Natalie first started Kindergarten, he was waiting to ask if we knew the R families he knew from FDL. They were neighbor's, as Mr R described, "good Catholics." Haha. No doubt, this is why Lance, his mom, dad, etc. had no knowledge of these people with the same, obscure family name. My in laws were more of the scam artist persuasion than anything having to do with Catholics. Plus, Lance's dad blamed his rough, abusive childhood on his dad and mom's affiliation with the C church. Yes, there is a thread of victim mentality that runs through the in laws, even today. Not that Lance's in laws are anything to model but seriously... So, Mr. R then went on to ask us about Natalie's love for Greek Mythology and said they will be studying Indian culture next and then on to Roman empire (which Natalie also loves) and just loves Natalie's hard work and enthusiasm and told us to keep up the good work. Natalie loves history and said earlier this year she is thinking of majoring in history. Thank YOU, Mr. R.
So, L and me. How did we manage to birth these two solid learners with a strong moral compass. I mean, I am not one of those people who can comfortably rewrite history...I was a horrible student. I had no teachers who inspired me. I had a mentally ill PE teacher who was also my volleyball coach and she loathed me. She really was mentally ill...she was committed when I was a freshman in high school. I had a second grade teacher who I was so afraid of that I waited uncomfortably for about a half hour until I went into the third grade for my reading group to tell that teacher I had to throw up and then promptly did. Unfortunately, the third grade teacher had left the next year when I would have had her full time. I controlled my vomit to avoid the pyscho, ex nun I had for second grade who used to belittle and call me names. There were random teachers I liked but no one who I really felt inspired by or that they were at all invested in me. I liked English so those teachers were always tolerable. PE teachers typically hated me and my loving aunt Mary Beth told me (she majored in PE) was that PE teachers do not like students who aren't athletic. MB always gave me great affirmations throughout my life...like when she told me not to become part of the statistic my friends and I came up with (10% of the girls in the KHS class of '87 became pregnant). I mean, obviously, people really believed in me growing up! I did not have the balls to tell my lovely aunt that me and my one friend were in the VC (virgin club) unlike the rest of our little clique of 12 more promiscuous seniors. My parents tried to send me to flight attendant school even though I wanted to and did go to college. I saw them not provide the assistance to my older, smarter brother who was in college at the time but had to take at least a year off b/c my parents pulled the rug out from under him so I pretty much knew my average self would be funding my own college experience. This was despite the fact that my dad threatened to pull his (ultimately non existant) financial support if I took a higher paying life guard job in my high school hometown over the small town he made us move to (and almost made me go to school in) my senior year.
Lance had it a little better. He was the baby of the family and his mom, when she wasn't sleeping in while he got his second grade self off to school, doted on him during her waking hours. He was a pretty good student and in his "autobiography" project for sixth grade, he quoted his mom as saying he was a "perfect specimen." So he has a more positive inner dialog than I do but still...shady at times. One time, we were attending a wedding of some guy who dropped out of our high school. This fine young man's drunk dad came up to Lance at the wedding and grabbed him by the yoke, accusing him of making his kid a loser by teaching him how to grow pot at the age of 10. Yeah, that was a classy night. So, the kids do get the smarts from L and maybe my latent brain capabilities that were dormant under the crazy house I grew up in (my dad used to call us names all the time..."you are such a round head" (never did figure out what this meant) or "you are the dumbest" and my mom used to expect me to be her mother's helper to the more adored younger kids. It was, with her, kind of an introduction to mean girl interactions, really. The pictures I took with the working camera I bought were never good enough for her. Missy was playing with matches and almost burned down our house that Troy had to be rescued from and, despite my mom and I both being home, somehow this was my 12 year old self's fault? It was crazy. Hard to identify as a good person much less a smart one.
There is also the athleticism. Natalie is showing major skills in volleyball, basketball, soccer and any sport she tries really. This is much to the chagrin of the typical, competitive parochial school parent along with those who think their tiny 10 year old will yield them a Division 1 scholarship. Charlotte has been doing cartwheels and full splits since Kindergarten and also is lauded for her soccer abilities. She is starting bball in January. This makes more sense. Lance's bro Kim did receive the only full ride athletic scholarship KHS was ever offered for one of their students to UW well before my time there and still to this day (1972 was the year, I believe). He did blow it spectacularly and spent years in a drug and alcohol fueled victimhood mode (which his family also echoed) so I did have to get Lance excited about sports and the genes he gave his kids. Lance also was very impressive the one year he committed to the football team and probably was the best volleyball player at the multitude of games we played at our hs grad parties. So, those genes are more direct than my bench warmin' high school basketball year.
I am so grateful to God for Natalie and Charlotte and whatever combination we came up with that made them who they are. I know my parents didn't have very many good interactions with my teachers at conferences as I was often grounded post conference. We are truly blessed to have these two amazing kids. I am abundantly grateful and pray for their continued grace and well being. Thank you, God!
