I wasnt particularly fond of children growing up. I loved my little siblings but didnt like being the gratis babysitter on call. Or babysitting at all, really. I loved when I was old enough to get a "real job" (in fast food!) I didn't dream of myself with my littles, but I knew what they looked like far before they were conceived and I knew they would come, even though I didn't actively pine for them. Until they came.
I never knew I could love anyone so fiercely...long for their presence, try to hide myself when I got too stressed and try not to react in front of their uncluttered, sans-cynicism minds, want SO much for another person to be her best, agonize over twists and turns in life and second guess my decisions because they are so critical in the long hall. I poured over What to Expect, the Baby Whisperer, and a heaps of girl-centric literature under many titles.
The literature, it's good to check in when time permits, but my gut is what has made the best call for these beautiful, enchanting and loving babies. I love you girls. I am so proud of you. I know you can and will have the best in life because you're you. You amaze me with your ability to thrive in school and life. I am here for a hug and a talk (about anything) and am blessed to be able to be your mom. When people say they worry about bringing kids into this crazy world, I look at you and listen to what you talk about. You will change the world. You think differently. You are a new generation. Natalie, you are so passionate yet you think before you speak. You are fair. You are sensitive. You love people and doing your part in team sports. You are logical beyond what I'd ever imagined an eight year old can be. You adore flowers and nature. You love your stuffed animals. Charlotte, you are loving. You are so inquisitive. You are a peacemaker. You hold your own when you need to. You make the most adorable observations and are a great conversationalist already at the age of four. You love butterflies and flowers and dresses and cute shoes. You both love to help me cook.
You are both the most beautiful girls I have ever known. You have striking eyes and I am floored by your beautiful, perfect faces. You are both down to earth yet show a passion for the best things in life. For solutions.
We have traveled because I want you to see the world. But, my best memories continue to be the conversations we have in our backyard. Don't ever be afraid to tell me anything. I am here for you always. I want you to know that you have the sensibilities to make the right decisions and choices...and that's coming from your teachers as well as your parents. You make the right choices even when I am befuddled at how to guide you. I hope you always continue to trust your gut. Natalie, your report cards have been perfect since you started school. You Love To Read. You are kind to your classmates and you are driven to work hard on projects and goals and your passion for reading and doing your best in your work has been learned by your sister. Charlotte, you are a leader. One of your preschool friends made her parents switch classes so she could be in yours. You are charasmatic and peaceful.
I hope you always work to know and trust yourselves. You have it in you. You take every opportunity to grow. You are amazing.
You will never know how much you have changed my life from your sweet smelling, tiny and snuggly baby years to your rambunctious toddler years to preschool and to now, when you both will be schoolgirls in the fall. I miss those snuggle puppy baby years but I am also enthralled by every stage of your lives, and the new adventures that come with each new step.
I love you! And on this Mother's Day, I thank you, my babies.
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