"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
- Howard Thurman
Natalie rocked it last night.
Charlotte and Natalie had swim west last night at 5 and 5:15 respectively. Charlotte finished up comfortably at 5:30 and Natalie had to scoot out of the pool at 5:45, get showered and dried in order to be at school for her concert at 6:25. We made the time crunch.
Up in the risers, I watched our 3rd grader shine like a bright star. I've always been sadly shocked at how early the mean girl behavior begins. There was some of that going on last night but sweet Natalie rose above and sang her heart out. Smiling and singing next to a group of girls too cool to really get into it. I hope you always let your beautiful light shine, my dear. And, always, always be better than the haters. You did such a great job with your performance and your spirit and soul were brighter than the sunshine you bring to a sometimes not friendly school environment.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Input, Output: Hallmark
Kellie Hampton is my hero! I love her writing, her passion, her love for her "two ones" but mostly, I love the massive amounts of good for which she uses her Internet microphone. Case in point:
Input, Output: Hallmark
Input, Output: Hallmark
Reinvention of self
I've never been overly ambitious but being a working mom definitely kicked me into gear. I am not at peace with beng a working mom, though. I am not at peace with giving up control. I am not at peace with child care outside of my own.
I grew up with a SAHM who had to scramble to raise 5 kids, on her own pretty much. My dad came home and did the old school discipline, drop in on our lives stuff. He tried, but he was a product of his upbringing. I didn't want to be alone at home with no $$ or no way to stand on my own. I think I tended toward the working mom profile, but didn't want to admit it. Plus, we needed my income anyway. Plus, I get to deal with adults who transparently play political games and mean girl behavior that is far more annoying than the most epic of toddler tantrums...it's kind of a sacrifice for income, sometimes.
Therein lies the angst. I need to better define who I am, so I can model this for my kids. I was bemused earlier this year when Charlotte made a gingerbread man holding a sign that said, "I can go to work just like my mommy." I am a worker, yes, but fought with my boss to get his approval to leave my job early to pick them up from school on M, W, F. Prior to that, I worked 9-10 hour M-Rs and had off Friday with my babies. I took a pay cut to do it and it also makes up for the four times a year I need to travel for a few days. I just want those little spouts to know their mama also needed to put food in their bellies, shoes on their feet, and as an aside, private school tuition into the family budget due to the terrible state of Madison schools these days. God willing, those college savings accounts will also be well-used.
I was annoying about it. I still am, complaining about work, complaining about stress, about not being present while feeling this angst...a vicious cycle.
I am good at my job. Very good. I need to work on myself and redefine this working mom role on the mom side. I need to find a comfortable place, finally. I am better than I was but I need to grow more.
I grew up with a SAHM who had to scramble to raise 5 kids, on her own pretty much. My dad came home and did the old school discipline, drop in on our lives stuff. He tried, but he was a product of his upbringing. I didn't want to be alone at home with no $$ or no way to stand on my own. I think I tended toward the working mom profile, but didn't want to admit it. Plus, we needed my income anyway. Plus, I get to deal with adults who transparently play political games and mean girl behavior that is far more annoying than the most epic of toddler tantrums...it's kind of a sacrifice for income, sometimes.
Therein lies the angst. I need to better define who I am, so I can model this for my kids. I was bemused earlier this year when Charlotte made a gingerbread man holding a sign that said, "I can go to work just like my mommy." I am a worker, yes, but fought with my boss to get his approval to leave my job early to pick them up from school on M, W, F. Prior to that, I worked 9-10 hour M-Rs and had off Friday with my babies. I took a pay cut to do it and it also makes up for the four times a year I need to travel for a few days. I just want those little spouts to know their mama also needed to put food in their bellies, shoes on their feet, and as an aside, private school tuition into the family budget due to the terrible state of Madison schools these days. God willing, those college savings accounts will also be well-used.
I was annoying about it. I still am, complaining about work, complaining about stress, about not being present while feeling this angst...a vicious cycle.
I am good at my job. Very good. I need to work on myself and redefine this working mom role on the mom side. I need to find a comfortable place, finally. I am better than I was but I need to grow more.
What's in a name
I get a lot of compliments on their names. Yesterday, when I was volunteering at lunch duty, Kristin Sleeth told me she always remembers Natalie is my daughter, because she loves her name but couldn't use with her own last name for her kid. She asked what my Kindergartener's name is, Charlotte, and responds, oh that is a beautiful name too.
If I have any regrets about your names, it is not including mine somehow. Natalie called Charlotte, "Baby Coco" mostly in utero but also called her Baby Hannah. Lance suggested Hannah Marie on the morning of the day Charlotte was born. My OB liked Anna, said Hannah is overused. I liked Charlotte all along. Strong, solid, classic, like Natalie. And Elizabeth, such a classic beauty of a name. I won't ever be insulted if they choose to go by their middle names.
We were thinking Grace for Natalie. My second cousin had a baby Grace in August of the same year. He happens to be named John which was a duplicate family name for my uncle, his cousin John so choosing Grace would not be an unprecidented move. Plus, they live in Oregon and I have seen them maybe once or twice in the last ten years. But, we wanted an original. When she was born, we thougth Kirstin and actually called her that for several hours. I called people and told them we weren't totally decided on the name but she is here, 3 weeks early and we are in love. By mid moring on 9-10-02, we had decided on Natalie Grace. One of the night nurses came in and told me Natalie Grace is so beautiful, it gave her shivers. Uncle Todd said she was probably bopping from room to room saying that to everyone, Jane Smith...so beautiful it gives me shivers!
Natalie Grace and Charlotte Elizabeth, my beautiful little souls.
If I have any regrets about your names, it is not including mine somehow. Natalie called Charlotte, "Baby Coco" mostly in utero but also called her Baby Hannah. Lance suggested Hannah Marie on the morning of the day Charlotte was born. My OB liked Anna, said Hannah is overused. I liked Charlotte all along. Strong, solid, classic, like Natalie. And Elizabeth, such a classic beauty of a name. I won't ever be insulted if they choose to go by their middle names.
We were thinking Grace for Natalie. My second cousin had a baby Grace in August of the same year. He happens to be named John which was a duplicate family name for my uncle, his cousin John so choosing Grace would not be an unprecidented move. Plus, they live in Oregon and I have seen them maybe once or twice in the last ten years. But, we wanted an original. When she was born, we thougth Kirstin and actually called her that for several hours. I called people and told them we weren't totally decided on the name but she is here, 3 weeks early and we are in love. By mid moring on 9-10-02, we had decided on Natalie Grace. One of the night nurses came in and told me Natalie Grace is so beautiful, it gave her shivers. Uncle Todd said she was probably bopping from room to room saying that to everyone, Jane Smith...so beautiful it gives me shivers!
Natalie Grace and Charlotte Elizabeth, my beautiful little souls.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Flu in the House of Two Ones
Natalie came home last Friday with a soar throat and 102 temp. Charlotte came down with it yesterday (Tuesday) and is on the couch. Natalie is back to herself but poor Charly has the sad, sick eyes even while she tries to crack a smile.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday, Monday
We decided to truck it over to Milwaukee on Saturday for the Holiday Folk Fair and visits with Tim's and Uncle John's afterward. At some point during the fair, we got a text and the next Charlotte noticed was cousin Madilyn walking toward our seating area! Auntie Missy showed up at the folk fair as well. While inspired by the ethnic dancing and Polish Dill Pickle soup, the best part of the day was the marienette stuffed animals we allowed the girls to buy, and we allowed ourselves to constantly detangle the fish wire attachments. Natalie is totally into Oragami these days so she got to sit a spell at the Japanese table and watch an expert quickly throw something together.
We headed over to Tosa to visit with the Wessings and baby Wessing with her yummy, huge cheeks and chubby feet. We played for a bit and then were joined by Aunt Lynn, Uncle John and Mary. Natalie and Mary are so close in age, I try to encourage their friendship by tales of lil baby photos and time stamped memories of their tiny days. At some point, baby Molly was startled and cryed so Natalie didn't want to pose for any pics holding her. Charlotte is still Molly's keeper...she loves her. When we went to Dave & Busters, I noticed that Natalie was very into her own thing with the many distractions there, and Mary and Charlotte kind of hung out.
It was fun, until Lance reached the end of his rope. We didn't leave D & B until after 10. He went out to pull the car up and while we were on our way out, I got a loud cell phone demand that we join him. Redface.
The kids enjoyed. The HOliday Folk Fair is definitely on our list again next year, maybe not Dave and Busters though...we'lll see.
We headed over to Tosa to visit with the Wessings and baby Wessing with her yummy, huge cheeks and chubby feet. We played for a bit and then were joined by Aunt Lynn, Uncle John and Mary. Natalie and Mary are so close in age, I try to encourage their friendship by tales of lil baby photos and time stamped memories of their tiny days. At some point, baby Molly was startled and cryed so Natalie didn't want to pose for any pics holding her. Charlotte is still Molly's keeper...she loves her. When we went to Dave & Busters, I noticed that Natalie was very into her own thing with the many distractions there, and Mary and Charlotte kind of hung out.
It was fun, until Lance reached the end of his rope. We didn't leave D & B until after 10. He went out to pull the car up and while we were on our way out, I got a loud cell phone demand that we join him. Redface.
The kids enjoyed. The HOliday Folk Fair is definitely on our list again next year, maybe not Dave and Busters though...we'lll see.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)